Have you ever read the children’s book by P.D. Eastman “Are you my Mother?”
I feel a little bit like the little chick feels while looking for his mother, in our hunt for a house. Every house we walk into is with a hope that this house will be our house, essentially asking the house: “Are you my house?” At times it’s also similar to “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”, this one’s too big, this one’s too small, and even a few times, this one’s “just right.”
It’s amazing to me that the whole process of looking for a house can be summed up in two (and probably more) children’s books. It seems that the lessons you learn in these books, can really be applied to most everything. Let me tell you though what I have learned about myself. What little patience I believe I held – yeah, non-existent. I’m sure Dave would be more than happy to receive any encouraging words and thoughts you can give him during this time. At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s wondering what happened to his fun, exciting, semi-easygoing wife, and when is this monster going to leave?
OK OK, it might not be that bad, but it has been trying. This search is forcing Dave and I to really work on one of the most important elements to any relationship, compromise. Oh sure, we used to brag about the fact that we had amazing communication skills, and we never fight. HA, famous last words. While I will say that our communication has always been on the upper side of any rating, this search has forced us to really learn how to communicate with each other about decisions that have to be made. I believe I’ve mentioned that we are both pretty sarcastic, but I haven’t mentioned before that most of our arguments are quelled by jokes. For any of you in relationships where this is the case, you know that this can be both a blessing and a curse.
I love the fact that my husband makes me laugh on a daily basis – sometimes its maddening that this laughter will come at a point where
we I am trying to have a serious conversation, and I find myself just begging through the giggles that he take me seriously. This laughter however has been the saving grace in this house hunt. I love that we can both look at situations and find the humor in it. In our hunt for a home we have seen some real “winners” think “Hoarders” animal addition, at least that’s how some places smelled. We have joked with our realtor that some of the houses we have seen should really just be dozed over and restarted.
Dave and I are open to a fixer-upper. We want a place that we can make our own. And with the generous FHA Re-hab loans out there, we figure why not. This means that some of the places we have seen are definitely not always in the best condition. In fact, the first house we saw when we began this process was a definite bulldozer. I believe it was at this exact point that I realized we were in for an adventure. We have sense been to see about 13-15 more properties, and put in 8 offers. All of which were denied and rejected. Most without any form of counter offer.
Throughout most of the hunting process people have continued to tell me “you’ll know when you know.” I liken it to when you’re dating, and you’re so very tired of dating people that don’t pan out. So you tell your girlfriends that you’re tired of dating schmucks, and they all say things like “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” and “you’ll find him eventually, and when you do, you’ll just know it.”
But if you’ve heard this, chances are, you’ve been in the position where you feel like “if one more person tells me he/she is out there somewhere, I’m going to punch them!” Well, that’s about where I am with the house hunt.
Yes…I KNOW there is a house out there for us somewhere.
Yes….I KNOW we have plenty of time.
Yes…I KNOW we’ll know it when we see it.
Can we please just find it, and see it NOW?! (a la Veruca Salt)
There was a time where I was ready to just start putting in offers to see if we could even get a yes. I felt like we might be cursed at this point. Luckily, my sane and rational better half convinced me that this was irrational, and that we couldn’t just start bidding to bid.
And then, we found it. We found the house that we both walked into and immediately felt at home. We both looked at each other, continued to walk around and eventually told our realtor how much we loved it. We put an offer in that evening – the strongest offer to date, and then began the wait. The excruciating part of the offer process. Where you are left waiting to hear back from the sellers. Will they accept, will they counter, will they reject? It’s all a waiting game. A lot like watching a pot boil. Where you just stand there waiting to put in the pasta, longing for the big bubbles to break the surface.
So, with fingers, toes, eyes, and arms crossed, we waited. And waited. And went to look at a couple more houses while we continued to wait. And then…we got the call…they had chosen to go with a stronger buyer. NOOOOO! This was supposed to be our house!! We just knew it. And now, we were hearing the NO that we so dreaded…there was only one thing left for me to do:
I made myself a drink, sat down and cried a little, then started this post. Now, onto the next….and praying that if this house is really meant to be ours, the accepted buyers will for some reason back out and our offer will once again be considered…
Any one else out there been on the hunt for a house? Can you relate to my feelings of desperation?